International Women's Day, March 8, 2018

We had started celebrating March 8th. International Women's day, since last year. It was great fun. So, this year, some of us decided to have a celebration, and start planning early. There floated many ideas for entertainment, food etc. Location was to be on the terrace. 
What i liked best about this year's party was that, those who wanted to take up responsibility for arrangements, came forward and put their hands up for different jobs to be done. There was no delegating, asking or requesting people to attend the meetings, and who would do what! One lady took responsibility for arranging the games (2 nos.), another lady for the decorations, yet another was willing to collect the money from the attendees and keep the accounts, One more decided to take care of the lighting, furniture etc. One of the residents is a great dancer, who was willing to teach others, if any are interested, to put up a performance; since no one was ready, she did a solo. 
In the preceding week I was conversing with a few women, and it struck me that I have a few ideas to share. I offered to do a short talk on the subject of women. 
The theme for the party was 'Retro'. Hmmmm.
Boy, did we get busy trying to interpret it and reinterpret? Which look to affect, did we have the clothes and accessories? how do we look in it? questions galore...
However we turned out, one thing I knew was that it would be a blast! we would have fun dressing up and laughing at each other's get-ups. It was a blast!

 

 

 

All the ladies discharged their responsibilities with precision, on time and excellently. Great retro music, great ambience, lively ladies, and a great time was had by all.
Here is the verbatim of my speech:

International Women's Day is annually held on March 8 to celebrate women's achievements. The theme for 2018 International Women’s Day, is, “Time is Now: Rural and urban activists transforming women’s lives”.

On this International women’s day, I want to share a few points that are close to my heart:

1.     Celebrate:

We may be young or old, fat or thin, fair or dark, educated or not, employed or unemployed, rich or poor. But one thing is common to us all. We are all beautiful. Each woman is unique and special. Celebrate that beauty. Celebrate that uniqueness. Being born a woman is a cause for celebration. Celebrate because, this is the only life we have. It is now or never. Donot put off enjoying life today, tomorrow and the day after. Make a list of all your wants and desires and start fulfilling them. Do you agree with me?

2.     Exposure:

Are we getting enough exposure to different peoples, different cultures, and different ways of living? Are we broadening our horizons? Or are we living in our own small worlds, like frogs in a well? If not, the time is now, because, Exposure gives experience; and Experience builds confidence.

Women, we need to be more confident!

3.     Autonomy:

Autonomy is the ability to make decisions about one's own life. How many of us women have autonomy in all the aspects of our lives?

·        Do we have the right over our bodies or is someone dictating who we should marry, how many children to have, how we should look and how we should dress?

·        Do we have the right to the kind of education we want?

·        Do we have the right to a career of our choice? Or who is deciding whether we should work or not?

·        Are we having a right over our money and financial assets? Is someone else making the decisions on money for us? Financial independence is the most important aspect of women’s empowerment.

4.     Sharing:

Share, share, share. I cannot stress the importance of sharing enough.

As women, we need to share our lives with each other. Share your thoughts, share your feelings, share your joys, share your successes, and share your troubles. There is no shame in sharing your ups and downs in life. They say, Happiness gets doubled by sharing, and troubles get halved...

Here is a forwarded message I received several years ago via email. It is about the importance of being connected to other women. I liked it so much that I wanted to share it with you all today:  

It is about sisters....

“A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day,  
drinking iced tea and visiting with her Mother. As
they  talked about life, about marriage, about the
responsibilities  of life and the obligations of      
adulthood,  the mother clinked the ice cubes in her        
glass  thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance        
upon  her daughter        
       
'Don't  forget your Sisters,' she advised, swirling        
the  tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. 'They'll        
be more important as you get older. No matter how        
much you love your husband, no matter how much you        
love the children you may have, you are still going        
to need Sisters. Remember to go places with them now       
and then; do things with them.'
'Remember that 'Sisters' mean ALL the women...        
your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other        
women relatives too. 'You'll need other women. Women        
always do.'     
What a funny piece of advice!' the young woman        
thought.  Haven't I just gotten married?        
Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a        
married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely        
my husband and the family we may start, will be all I        
need to make my life worthwhile!'   
But she listened to her Mother. She kept contact        
with her Sisters and made more women friends each        
year. As the years tumbled by, one after another,
she gradually came to understand that her Mom really        
knew what she was talking about. As time and nature        
work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman,        
Sisters are the mainstays of her life.    
     

After more than 50 years of living in this world,        
here is what she had learned:  
She says,       
“Time passes.   

Life happens.
Distance separates.        
Children grow up.       

Jobs come and go.        
Love waxes and wanes.        
Men don't do what they're supposed to do.
Hearts break.        
Parents die.        
Colleagues forget favours.        
Careers end.  

    BUT.........      
 Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how        
 many miles are between you.

A girl friend is never farther away than needing her, can reach.       
When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you        
have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on        
your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the        
valley's end.     

Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk        
beside you...Or come in and carry you out.     
Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters,        
daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers,        
Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended        
family, all bless our life!      
The world wouldn't be the same without women, and        
neither would I. When we began this adventure called        
womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or        
sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we        
would need each other.” End of the forwarded mail.

Finally, let us do our bit to ensure that the future for girls is bright, equal, safe and rewarding. It is our responsibility to pass on the lessons learnt in our lives to the next generation of young women; lessons on - health, men, relationships, work, career, money etc.

Let’s also teach the girls and young women, how to live a life of dignity, how to hold our heads high, how to command respect, how to succeed, and most importantly how to fight back, and how to stand our ground.

All you wonderful women assembled here,

You light up the world.

Keep it going ladies, bright, radiant and shimmering!

Have a great International women’s day!

March 8, International women's day

March 8th. is celebrated every year is International Women day. I remember, one year, my dad gifted all of us women in the house with Handkerchiefs! I loved it so much, saved it for years. 

Every year, it is publicized, written about, and we all make it a point to wish each other. With social media, it has become much easier to forward the many photos and posts. 

For me, it is a day to celebrate how far we have come, from the caveman days, and to remind each other how far to go yet.    

 

Since purple is the colour for women's day, badges were made for all.

Some of us ladies at our complex have decided to hold party on our terrace, just a couple of days prior to 8th.. It was amazing how easily and seamlessly the whole event was planned. Trust women to organise and carry off with zero defect! Certain conditions were set down. The party was for women only. for one evening between 7 and 9, no entertaining children, husbands, relatives! Women wanted time for themselves, just to meet others in the complex, talk, eat, dance and have fun. Fair enough! Next came the eats. The 'volunteers' offered suggestions and offered to place orders and pick them up. We decided against formal dinner and go with snacks and small eats. Then came the venue and arrangements. It was decided the terrace would be an ideal location overlooking the sea, with a lovely march breeze blowing. A couple of ladies took the responsibility for arrangements.

Balloons were blown and strung up, lights put up, chairs arranged, and food reached the venue on time. All the ladies came shimmering in their best clothes and shoes. Oh, I forgot the games. Some silly and fun games were played.

Group photos

Towards the end, there were requests for fast nos, bollywood songs etc. We all shook a leg and everyone had a good time. 
The downside of it all was some women couldnot make it due to not having support at home; no one to baby sit for a couple of hours in the evening on a working day. What a shame! Because of which they had to miss out on fun and games in their own building complex. It may not be a great loss not to attend a party. On the other hand, it points out the vulnerabilty of women with small children, how completely tied up their lives are. 
I am making a limited point here. is not it a responsibility of the husbands to mind their kids some of the time? Should not they give wives a break from the parental responsibilities once in a while? Atleast on the international women's day? I believe one such husband goes to the extent of saying 'Is your party more important than my job?' For a couple of hours between 7 and 9 in the evening, Is it too much to expect? 
Ladies, buck up, get organised, stop depending on others to take care. It is a day to remind us of women's empowerment. What does it mean? To me it means:

• To have options - what, when and how to do with one's time, money ...
• To be able to make choices - not be forced into situations by others ....
• To not live in fear constantly - afraid of consequences all the time, real or imagined ....
• To have one's own money - have the freedom to buy, spend, or save .....
• To acquire skills and education - be better informed and skilled, for self respect and to make a living ....
• To live a life of conviction and belonging - think for yourself, decide for your self,by taking inputs from others where necessary ....

Till next March 8th. have an empowering year!!!

   

Spice man from Mapusa Market, Goa

On any friday, from morning till late evening, there is a bustling weekly fair on in Mapusa municipal market, Goa. On our previous couple of visits and experimenting with a few products and trusting sales boys, we found this seller of spices. He is Prakash K. Naik. 

He sells powdered spices and whole spices. The whole spices include red chillies of different varieties, black and green pepper corns, dry ginger, cinnamon sticks, turmeric roots, coriander seeds, cumin seeds, fennel seeds, and also some spices locally produced.

What I like about them is that they are of good quality and look very fresh. 

 

He stocks two varieties of powdered spices, by machine grinding and hand pounded. Different Chilli powders, spice powders for various curries, turmeric powder must be used to believe them. The best ones are his hand pounded spices. They smell heavenly.  They are more expensive than the similar ones available in super markets for obvious reasons.

We made a habit of gifting these spice mixtures to our friends and relatives or for sending them abroad.

Biryani / Pulao masala

Chicken / fish curry masala (cocnut base)

Butter chicken / tandoori chicken / fish fry masala

Xacuti masala

Dry fish / crab curry masala

Green pepper corns

Mr. Prakash Naik and his wife

Ph. no:9146398374
If you are in Goa, do drop in to his stall on any day, and he will surely be happy to make you a great cook with his whole spices and powdered spices. Or if you are else where, call him and ask if he will send the spices by parcel. I had not asked him that. He is a cheerful sort of person and gave us a good discount too. No wonder he has a lot of foreign tourists who are his regular customers!

New Year's Eve celebration at Zeebop by the Sea, South Goa

It is end of December and the the one main question is where to spend the New Year's Eve, for most people. Next important question (again for most people) would be what to where for the do. As to where to go, I had only two options, to a resort in North Goa, run by a friend, and a beach shack in south Goa, which we frequent.

There are certain benefits to ageing; you know your resources and limitations, you know to separate hype and facts, and finally, you know your wants. 

Since the friend from North Goa did not come through, our dinner and celebrations at the South Goa beach shack was default venue. Life is so peaceful.... 

As to what to wear, I had designed and stitched a tunic and trouser set, ready and hanging in the wardrobe waiting to be aired... Life is so easy when you are 50+...

We sent an SMS asking them to reserve a table for two. 

31st. December came round finally and we got ready in our best and headed out to South Goa, on the NH 17. Taking a side road, and through winding village roads, and beautiful and picturesque scenery (in the night too), we reached the venue....

The restaurant is called 'Zeebop by the Sea'. It is in Utorda. There is ample parking. The entry fee / cover charges of Rs.300 seemed reasonable. The menu was ala carte. So, you pay for what you order. What can be more reasonable than that. 

Since it was Christmas and New year week, the place was lit up with myriad hanging lamps and decorations. I am sucker for decorations. They add to the festivities. The trees were lit up, there were gift boxes in made of bling.

Zeebop is a sprawling restaurant by the beach, there is no flooring, it is white soft sand. Ladies and gentlemen, wear sensible footwear. During the day, you can look at the sea and waves while dining.

There was a beautiful Manger, tall Christmas tree and self glowing reindeer inside a white picket fence.

Coming to the food, one can select the sea food displayed in the trays, from giant crabs to huge fish and jumbo lobsters... They will cook them to your specifications. What more can one ask for!

 The tables were decorated with flowers and clean crockery and cutlery. The food at Zeebop is exemplary. Even their vegetarian cuisine is really good.

 A decent bar menu to suit most palates. Since it was party time everyone had a good time!

 Since we covered the decorations, food and drink, a party is never complete without music. Goa is famous for its music, and most singers that I have heard are good. So is Mark, here belting out new and old numbers with equal panache.

The dance floor is pure white and the lights were great. there were cabanas next to the music, for those who desire to be closer to it.  He did oblige me for a couple of songs for us to shake a leg to waltz music...

 As the hunger got assuaged, a few drinks downed, the floor was packed with the dancers. Everyone seemed to have a good time.

 A tree was decked up in illuminated stars, looked totally surreal! We stepped out on to the beach for a short walk. From the beach Zeebop looked ethereal.

By the stroke of midnight, there were fireworks on the beach. A great location, by the sound of the waves, run by a good friend Sergio Dias, great food, lovely music, terrific dance floor, casual setting, firework display, courteous waiters, easy on the pocket, it is a recipe for ringing in the New year. That is what we had!

Journey on Rajdhani Express from Secunderabad to New Delhi

It was my journey on Rajdhani Express. Though the train / route has been around for several years, I always wen on the old faithful AP express, whenever I went to New Delhi.

Actually it my friend who suggested it. She thought instead of traveling by the boring AP Express, why not take the grand Rajdhani. The added attraction was the food on the train. 2nd AC ticket cost about Rs.100 more than economy airfare,that time. We felt it was a alright as we wanted to EXPERIENCE this particular train journey!

And how our hopes and expectations came crashing down (!!!!); we came to know only 24 hrs. later!!! It is a lesson learnt and will be implemented every time in the future.

  

 

I appreciate all things clean and beautiful. At 6.30 in the morning, Secunderabad Railway Station is clean and sparkling. I have seen a few railway stations in this country. Secunderabad station is still in the top 3.  

Rajdhani which is always on time, came half hour late to the platform. Never mind that, we were in a jubilant mood and got inside and settled down for  luxurious journey. For once I didn't have to cook several meals / pack snacks for a train journey! What a treat!

You can imagine, if we were in the station by 6.30 am, we must have left the house at 6 am; must have been ready by 5.30 am; must have got up by 4.30 am latest, if we didn't want to miss the train?

Yes, I got up around 4 am. and was at the station and waited a half hour extra. You know what I am driving at? No? Hunger!!!

No coffee or tea until breakfast time which was 1 hour later. Ok, we told ourselves, we will wait and not start eating our dry snacks and spoil our appetite for the delicious morning meal!

Finally it arrives at 9.30 am. And  all the food items were packed in aluminum foil separately. Gave2 slices of toast. Can you believe it? The quantities were so less, it was enough for a child!

The mid morning drink was a packaged Nimbooz masala soda. Come on, Indian railways can do better than that .... 

There was no sense of cleanliness or hygiene. Didn't expect the cartons of food to be kept on the floor of the passage. The lunch started off with Soup with a couple of bread sticks and a pack of butter. Lunch and dinner were identical. In fact veg and non-veg meals were identical except chicken in the place of kofta in the same gravy. Everything tasteless, lacking in imagination or care, meager quantities!

Coming to the journey itself, the rest of the occupants in our compartment were a small family of husband and wife and two young kids. The elder one was a girl of 6, who was very quiet and well behaved. the younger one was a boy of about 3 years. He was hyper, whiny and crying all the time. Nothing would pleas him for more than 2 min. The mother was fed up doing nothing, and father had to bear the brunt of her complaining and criticism. They didnot know I understood their language, or they would not have been so vocal about their displeasure with each other; or, may not! Couples!!!!

A ray of hope for the railways is always some of their staff, who tirelessly serve the most difficult passengers too with a smile. We were lucky to have the privilege of meeting one such wonderful person.  

 

The toilets were same as on any other train. Only difference here is the two Indian WCs on one side of the bogey! The faucets in one toilet was at the back of the wc. How anyone can reach and use it is anybody's guess. Is it so difficult to get the basics right, I sometimes wonder!
The last straw was the destination station, ie. Nizamuddin railway station, jam packed, filthy, over crowded, hot .......



All in all, it was not such an enjoyable journey, with sub standard food and service, and the ticket fare being so expensive. My first and last journey in this train. 
But you can make up your mind.